Violence Prevention Partnership

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My son was exploited in the Thames Valley area. I want other parents to be aware of this happening, to be aware of the signs so it doesn’t happen to their children.

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Thank you for taking the time to watch these bite sized education videos for parents and carers. Child exploitation is a huge challenge across the whole of the UK, with thousands of children being exploited and that includes children here in Thames Valley. We know it’s a horrific crime where young people are preyed upon by criminal gangs, and as well as being proactive and targeting those offenders through policing, we know that prevention is key.

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So please do watch this video and learn how you can help to protect our children. In this video, you will hear the story of a parent whose child experienced exploitation. Learn about the different types of jarred exploitation. Discover how to spot the warning signs. Learn how to have positive conversations with young people on this topic and find out where to get further support and advice.

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My son was 13. Happy go lucky kid. He was quite small so it was a smallest in his ear. Funny, good sense of humour. And then I suddenly saw a change in him from one day to the next. He went from that kid who loved his lions to somebody who woke up one morning and the clothes had been in the night before 7:00, rushing to get out the door, panicking.

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It took me quite a while to work out what was going on. He kept telling me everything was fine. He always looked dirty, unkempt phone, constantly going off and then disappearing. I try and stop him from leaving the house and it would end up in World War three. I found out my son was being exploited by an older male.

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He was forcing him to sell cannabis through county lines.

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I wish I’d seen the warning signs a lot quicker than I had. My message to any parents and carers out there, talk about it more. Get help. There’s lots of services that are able to help in times of crisis.

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Child exploitation is when a child or young person is coerced or manipulated into doing something they don’t want to do. Children may not realize they’re being exploited, as they might trust their abuser or fear being blamed if they speak out. It’s crucial to remember that a child cannot consent to abuse. Making it vital to recognize the signs.

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Child sexual exploitation as when a child or young person is coerced or deceived into sexual activity for something they may need or want, such as gifts, money or drugs. It can also happen online by sharing nude images of themselves or sexual conversations. Another form of child sexual exploitation we see more and more is called sextortion. Sextortion is when a child is manipulated into sending a new image to someone pretending to be their friend.

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This happens online, and then they will be asked to send more images or money in exchange for them not telling their family or friends. This has a detrimental impact on the child because they feel that they have shared that image in the first place, and they blame themselves, and this is very underreported.

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What we do see more and more is peer on peer exploitation. That can be when one child of the same age, at another child share an image of themselves, blackmails and threatening to share these images with the rest of the school child criminal exploitation. This is when a child or young person is forced into committing a crime. This could be any crime of tours such as running drugs known as county lines.

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It could be just to shoplift something. It could be that an adult has told that child to crawl through a top window in a house to commit a burglary. They may also be asked to hold money in their bank accounts. This is known as financial exploitation. Some of the risk factors that may lead to a child being more vulnerable to exploitation include family conflict, domestic abuse, bereavement or loss, bullying, feeling unloved and seeking validation, and having unmet needs like money, housing or food.

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It’s important to recognize that even though the age of consent is 16, young people over the age of 16 can still be exploited.

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Features can be boys or girls from any ethnicity and any types of backgrounds. Thames Valley Police has a child centre principle where we want every child to be seen, heard and safe. If you suspect your child is being exploited, you should contact the police or another support agency and you can find out the best ways to do this.

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At the end of this video.

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Within our services, we work alongside professionals to support children and families with children who have experienced exploitation. There are a number of warning signs that you may see if your child’s being exploited, and I’m just going to talk you through a few of them today. If a child suddenly has a number of missing episodes, and particularly if they’re found outside of their local area, that may be an indicator that there is some risk.

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You might start noticing that your child is a lot more attached to their mobile phone, or that they may have more than one device. You may also see some changes in a child’s sleep patterns, and this may be linked to them needing to be available on their phone. You might start noticing changes in a child’s friendships and relationships.

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You might start noticing that a child is much more secretive about who they are with where they’re going, and their general lifestyle. A strong indicator that a child may be at risk of exploitation might be them suddenly appearing with significant amounts of money or gifts that you haven’t bought them at home. You might start noticing that a child starts retreating from hobbies or activities or clubs that they’ve previously really enjoyed.

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You may notice a change in your child’s physical appearance. This may be indicated by a child not looking after their own hygiene, but it may also be indicated by more extreme concerns such as bruising or injuries. The really important thing to remember here is that we’re looking for changes suddenly happening, or that we feel concerned about.

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What we’re really aware of in our service. Is that a really common theme is that children feel shame and judgment around their experiences of exploitation. The feedback that we’ve had from children and young people is that they’ve wished that someone would have asked them about how they’re feeling and their experience in terms of exploitation. So what we try and encourage is professionals and grown ups and parents to create a safe space where their children can talk openly about what they’ve experienced.

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It’s really important to try and find a comfortable, relaxed space to talk to children. You probably wouldn’t choose to do that over the dinner table with younger siblings around. A couple of examples might be maybe going for a walk in the park so you’re side by side, or in a car journey where there’s less eye contact and children are more willing and open to share their experiences.

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Here are some conversation starters that might be helpful to use. One of the ways to start a conversation with a child might be to say something like, we can tell that you’re having a really hard time at the moment. Is there anything you’d like to talk to us about? Another thing you might say is, I know you might be feeling really scared about how I might respond, but I promise you we will work this out together.

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A good way to start the conversation might be to say it might feel like you’re really stuck and like nothing’s going to change, but it absolutely can with the right support. Another question that might be helpful is, are you able to share with me what’s been happening? The other thing to think about is whether you’re the right person to be having the conversation with a child.

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So you could also say something like, if you don’t feel able to talk to me, is there anybody else that you’d feel comfortable with? Another great thing to say is, what can I do to help you feel safe? We are really aware that children are often exploited in groups. Children are much more likely to disclose concerns and worries they have about their friends than they are to disclose about themselves, which is why it’s really important to ask questions such as is there anyone else that you’re worried about?

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There is nothing more important than having open, transparent conversations with your children. This can feel really difficult and really uncomfortable. As long as we can create safety. We can create that space for them to be able to share. That’s what we’re aiming for.

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Thank you for taking the time to watch this video. Recognizing the signs of child exploitation can make a huge difference to keeping children safe. For more information and guidance, follow the links at the end of this video and do watch out for other videos in this series. Together, we can protect our young people and build a safer community.

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I’m sorry. I didn’t say something sooner. I was afraid you might respond.

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Please don’t be upset with me.

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I felt so ashamed.

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From messaging and social media to gaming the online world. Can be a big part of many children’s lives. Concern about addiction, cyberbullying and mental health can often make headlines. But perhaps one of the most concerning risks is of children being groomed and sharing sexual content online.

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It’s an issue that is prevalent in the Thames Valley as it is nationwide. And whilst the police have a role to play, prevention is key. Yet we know that many parents feel they don’t understand the online world. We’ll have the skills they need to protect their children. So please watch this video to learn how to keep children safe and ensure they have positive experiences online.

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In this video, you will hear from children that have been targeted online. Learn about the different types of online risks. Get practical tips on prevention. Discover how to recognize the warning signs that child may be experiencing online harm. Find out what to do if a child in your care has been targeted, and learn where to get further support and advice.

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I don’t get much interest from girls at school.

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But this Izzy seemed really interested in me. She was really pretty. We got chatting and then it got a bit flirty.

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After a while she asked me to do a video call without my clothes on. I trusted her.

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I realized she was actually someone else.

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They said they send the picture to my friends and family if I didn’t pay them. So I paid them 400 pounds. But they wanted more.

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That moment changed my life forever.

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I’ve been getting bullied at school.

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Itching me up to chat to new people on social media sites.

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Then I met a new boyfriend.

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At first we talked about school and stuff.

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He gave me compliments and seemed really nice.

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We chatted for a few weeks and I sent him photos. Some of my clothes off. We were talking about meeting up. Then this woman came round to my house and told my mum they’d found these pictures of me online. They said the man was in his 40s. I was devastated.

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I’m the detective inspector in the online child abuse investigation team. We will go after perpetrators that are exploiting children. I receive referrals and notify the parents that that’s happened and talked to them about it and made sure they safeguard their children. Most of the referrals that we get are where somebody has been chatting to somebody online.

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The perpetrators will start to build a rapport with purposes to obtain indecent images of them for a sexual gratification. They pretend to be either somebody who’s at their school, somebody who lives nearby. They might say, Will you be my boyfriend or girlfriend? Here’s a picture of me, and they’ll send a fake picture of intimate parts. They will then ask, can you send me a picture naked of yourself?

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And within minutes this has happened. There are other individuals then that will try and exploit the child financially, which we sometimes refer to as sextortion. The child may think they’re sending an image of themselves to a friend. The individual will quest money, be sent blackmail in that child with threats to send those particular images to the friends or family.

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With children. This is the most serious thing in their whole life. My mum or my dad? Everybody at school is going to see a picture of me naked. It’s devastating for them. Artificial intelligence can also be used to exploit children. We’re seeing a rise in trend of individuals being exploited from fake images created so intimate parts of another child, but with that particular child’s face on it.

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The other thing that we find a lot of is where children have filmed themselves. This is usually younger children and posted it onto a social platform. The youngest age I’ve had is a three year old child that has managed to get Ahold of their parents phone and filmed themselves naked. Most parents are looking through their children’s phones and checking that they’re not talking to anybody that they don’t know.

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But there are certain platforms that the conversation disappears. They also don’t always check their gaming platforms because they can talk to people on gaming platforms. And most parents are very shocked when we go round and upset that this has happened.

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So when it comes to preventative measures, we use the talk checklist. Talk, agree, learn and know. So talk to your children around what apps they’re using. It’s very difficult starting a conversation with a child on these subjects. At the end of this video you’ll find some links where there’s some really good tips on how to do that. Next on the checklist is to agree some ground rules on how user family use technology.

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Some of the ground rules could be leaving bedroom doors open whilst there on devices, keeping devices downstairs after bedtime, and also encouraging them to talk to you if there’s something that makes them feel uncomfortable on the internet. So next on the checklist is learn. So learn what apps your children are on and how to use them. Lots of us don’t want certain apps as adults, but I think downloading them and learning how to use them is very important.

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So the final one is know how to use apps and settings to protect your child online, as well as setting up privacy settings on your child’s device. You can also go into each individual app and they also have settings on there. But remember, this doesn’t make these apps 100% safe. So you still have to be vigilant.

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So when I do call round and talk to parents, lots of them are very shocked. But also a lot of them do say actually they have been different the last few weeks. So some of the warning signs children would perhaps use their phones more in secret, not have their phone facing up. They’d be in their bedroom for longer.

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They may be being quieter, not wanting to talk to you, not wanting to spend time with the rest of the family. Another warning sign may be with money where your child might ask for. Oh, can I have some money to buy something? It could be that the offender is asking them for money. Another warning sign. Maybe if they start talking about an online friendship of somebody you’ve never heard of.

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Are they staying up? Is there light on in their bedroom at 2:00 in the morning?

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So if your child has been targeted, I would advise that you sit down and chat to them. Your child will feel embarrassed and feel lots of shame when you talk to them about this, but it is important that you tell them that they are the victim in this, that it’s not their fault. If you do find out that your child has been in contact with somebody, the best thing to do is to block the other person.

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But do not delete evidence from the phone or the device because that could be needed for any further prosecutions. Help your child report this to the police, and you can also report it on each individual social platform. You can find links on how to do that at the end of the video. If your child’s nude images have been shared online, there are specialist services that will help you remove these images.

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You’ll find links to these at the end of this video.

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Thanks for watching. Understanding the risks, prevention strategies and how to communicate with children is critical in dealing with this crucial issue. For more guidance, explore the links at the end of this video and watch out for more in the series. By working together, we can build a safer community for our children.